Has Siri Kidnapped Our Parents?

Parents have a lot of knowledge. They can tell us about what the world was like when they were young and how cheap gas was and show us pictures from when we were little. It’s even better to hear our grandparents tell these kind of stories; the kind of stories that we would roll our eyes at when they began telling them because we’d heard them repeated so many times.

But it was good to listen. It showed us that they had lived a lot longer than we had. It showed their experience. It showed the breadth of their lives.

It showed their wisdom.

Remember when you needed your parents for so much? We used to ask our parents everything. How to build this volcano for a science project or make a solar system out of coat hangers and styrofoam. I remember my dad helping me build legos. I remember my mom helping me cook homemade french fries for a French class project.

You have those stories too. Maybe it’s your dad showing you how to cut the grass or change a light bulb or your the oil in your car. Maybe it’s your mom helping you quiet your own newborn child or asking what to feed them or how to rock them. Maybe it’s figuring out what mortgage insurance is or how to read the stock market. Maybe how to get stains off our clothes

When we have questions, we ask our parents. It shows dependence on them. It shows trust. It opens the door for another bonding moment or brief time for them to be, you know, our parents. It keeps the relationship going.

At least that’s how it used to be.


Technology: Our New Parent

Thanks to the internet and our handheld devices, we don’t ask our parents much these days. I mean, why would we? We have everything at our fingertips. Every dinner we could possibly want to make is featured on Facebook thanks to those fast-speed short videos on how to make pizza cake or Oreo churros.

Everyone needs those, right?

We need to depend less on our phones and more on each other.

But remember what it was like at college, when you first got married, or when you first became a parent and you picked up the phone because you needed to ask your mom or your dad a question? Maybe it was how to make the famous family macaroni and cheese or maybe you were at your in-laws and you were in charge of the mashed potatoes and you needed to know.

Or maybe you just wanted to call them and talk.

The other day, my wife and I were discussing the issue of Watergate. To be completely honest, neither of us could remember entirely what it all was about. I knew Nixon was involved and that from the movie’s narrative, apparently Forrest Gump was the one who called down to the front desk of the hotel.

We both were dumbfounded. How did we not know this? As one of us picked up the phone to dial home, the other picked up the phone for another reason:


Why don’t we just search for it?

We were both glad we chose the phone for what it used to be used for: calling people. We called home and got to have a conversation where we asked my mom and stepdad what Watergate was all about. They told us. We laughed about the fact that none of us could remember who took over the presidency after Nixon. All the good things of a phone call home to your parents.

But I am afraid the internet and technology are robbing us of conversations with our parents, cheapening our relationships with them. We don’t call and ask questions much because we don’t need to ask anyone anything. We can just ask Siri or call out anywhere in the house to Alexa. These are vital conversations that, before technology and Wikipedia, took place between mother/daughter and father/son. For parents, I imagine it’s not easy to know you’re being replaced by a device that knows more than you and is easier to consult during our busy schedules.

We need to be less about accuracy and efficiency and more about intimacy and investment.


More Than Knowledge & Busy Schedules

Sure, it might be easier to ask your device something or search for it on the web. There is a greater chance you’ll find the right answer the first try compared to asking your mom or dad. Because frankly, your parents don’t have fields of servers all over the world to pull data from. But are we losing something more personal, more important to who we are, by chasing efficiency and accuracy over relational investment?

I think so.

We need to make room for those conversations. We need to depend less on our phones and more on each other.

Siri may know what time it is in China or how many windows are on the Empire State building, but she doesn’t know how to comfort us when we’re lonely or encourage us when our job is tough. She doesn’t have the years of investment our parents do.

We need to be less about accuracy and efficiency and more about intimacy and investment.

We need to close out the Safari app and open up the keypad and start letting our parents be parents again. We need human interaction and we need to fight against losing our parents to the ongoing surge in technological advance.

There’s a passage in Deuteronomy that describes God bringing Israel over the Jordan River, stopping the river, and letting them pass by on dry ground. When they get through, the Lord commands them to build an altar of remembrance to commemorate all the Lord had done for them. He said, in a sense, put this memorial here because in the future your children are going to ask what the stones mean and you are going to tell them what I did for them and for you.

“When your children ask their fathers in times to come, What do these stones mean? Then you shall let your children know, Israel eased over this Jordan on dry ground. For the lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the and of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever.”

Unlike our parents, Siri can’t tell us about God’s grace and his mercy and how he’s acted wonderfully for his people. It’s not just about clay volcanoes and baking soda, it’s about God’s faithfulness and his love for us, his children. As children, we need to know these things.

So parents, tell your children. Because they will ask. About plumbing, dinner, fixing the car, parenting, keeping their children safe, and Watergate.

We can’t let the internet step in and take our parents place. Because it can’t deliver.

Stay active. Keep your phone close, not to search and surf, but to call and invest and talk and continue the relationship of parent and child.

No matter the advances in technology, nothing will take the place of our parents.

Let’s live that way.




Jonathan C. Edwards (@NotThePuritan)

Jonathan (M.Div, Th.M) is the founder & CEO of Peel, a social media startup directed at redeeming the value of social media in everyday life. He is the author of "Left: The Struggle to Make Sense of Life When a Parent Leaves," available now!

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